Karl Pilkington
Birthday:
23 September 1972, Manchester, Lancashire, England, UK
Height:
186 cm
Karl Pilkington was born on September 23, 1972 in Manchester, Lancashire, England. He is a writer and producer, known for The Ricky Gervais Show (2010), An Idiot Abroad (2010) and The Moaning of Life (2013).
It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.
It would be spiteful to put a Jellyfish in a trifle.
[on Gremlins (1984)] What are those things in Gremlins called?
[on Gremlins (1984)] What are those things in Gremlins called?
A dog has got human eyes
A dog has got human eyes
They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything ...Show more »
They say it all started out with a big bang. But, what I wonder is, was it a big bang or did it just seem big because there wasn't anything else drown it out at the time? Show less «
"People who live in a glass house have to answer the door." ~ Karl invents his own phrase based on 'Those who live in glass houses shouldn't...Show more »
"People who live in a glass house have to answer the door." ~ Karl invents his own phrase based on 'Those who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones.' Show less «
Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. ~ Karl's advice to chameleons
Stay green, stay in the woods, and stay safe. ~ Karl's advice to chameleons
A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
A slug is always on its own. It's a lonely insect.
I scored once, and that's only because I was being chased by a bee. ~ Karl's most vivid memory of playing football at school
I scored once, and that's only because I was being chased by a bee. ~ Karl's most vivid memory of playing football at school
Why didn't evolution give them genes to make them good at carpentry then, so they could build a ladder instead of growing long necks? ~ on t...Show more »
Why didn't evolution give them genes to make them good at carpentry then, so they could build a ladder instead of growing long necks? ~ on the the evolution of the giraffe Show less «
[on whether his personality is real] People ask that about An Idiot Abroad (2010). They go, "Are you really like that?" And I am. But they'v...Show more »
[on whether his personality is real] People ask that about An Idiot Abroad (2010). They go, "Are you really like that?" And I am. But they've got to remember is that it's an edited program, innit? So I'm away for nine days, and probably... I don't know how many hours of film that is, but at the end of the day, it's edited down to, like, 45 minutes or something. So there's times when I watch it back and I think, "God..." But then I think about it, and I go, "Well, that's 45 minutes out of hours and hours." I'm pretty sure if I walked around with you and filmed you, and then somebody edited it down, I could either make you look like Stephen Hawking or make you look like... me. Show less «
[on whether his personality is real] Yeah, it's me. But I think what doesn't help is the title that Ricky came up with. You know, the fact t...Show more »
[on whether his personality is real] Yeah, it's me. But I think what doesn't help is the title that Ricky came up with. You know, the fact that it's called An Idiot Abroad (2010) is annoying, 'cause people on the street, they'll sort of go, "Oh, it's the idiot!" Which isn't great. That isn't a dream come true. I never wanted that. But it's just because that's the name of the group. Like, if people see Ricky...or, like, before he was more known, it'd be like if they said, "Oh, look, it's the bloke from The Office (2001)." They're just going with the name that they know. It's just annoying that I have to be in a program with "idiot" in the title, so they go, "There's the idiot!" Show less «
People think that I'm an actor called Graham. I wish I was.
People think that I'm an actor called Graham. I wish I was.
[on dopplegangers] How would I know which one I was?
[on dopplegangers] How would I know which one I was?
If you can't look a knob in the face there's something wrong.
If you can't look a knob in the face there's something wrong.
The Chinese, they don't age well. You never see a sort of 35 year old one. Well, they're good looking when they're young but they age overni...Show more »
The Chinese, they don't age well. You never see a sort of 35 year old one. Well, they're good looking when they're young but they age overnight. They're like a pear. Show less «
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about ...Show more »
The reason I did the book about holidays is that you're a different person on holiday. You're sleeping somewhere unfamiliar, knocking about with people you've never met and for 10 days you're someone else. You're out of your comfortable zone. Show less «
I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.
I found that being with happy positive people annoys me.
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
People who live in a glass house have to answer the door.
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
I'd rather live in a cave with a view of a palace than live in a palace with a view of a cave.
The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the en...Show more »
The other day I was thinking - because I get a lot of headaches - I was wondering whether the head should be where it is. Because, at the end of the day, it's probably the heaviest part of your body, right? And yet it's at the top as opposed to, I don't, dangling at the bottom somewhere. Show less «
I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.
I've never understood the 'things to do before you die' idea. If I was ill, I'd be in no mood to have a swim with a dolphin.
When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just ...Show more »
When I go on holiday and people ask me what I do, I tell them I do some internet stuff and I've done a couple of books and I hope they just leave it at that. Show less «
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
But I'm not an idiot. At the end of the day, I've learned a lot.
That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.
That's the problem with having a bald head. It exaggerates the shape.
I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of th...Show more »
I've done some luxury flying, which is brilliant. It has only happened once or twice, but it was nice because flying is the worst part of the holiday. But then again, if the plane crashes, you're still dead. For that much money I'd want a little capsule that whizzed me off to safety if it was going to crash. Show less «
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
And we've got a toaster and everything. So there is no reason for the wedding.
I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangero...Show more »
I'd say the best is when I was in Africa, I saw a hippo in a house. Someone had a pet hippo. And they're meant to be one of the most dangerous animals on the planet, and they had one that was sort of just wandering in and out of their house, just sort of roaming about. Show less «
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
I just sort of go along and say what I think -and that's all you can do in life, really.
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
Being honest with you, it's not the 'great' wall of China. It's an all right wall. It's the 'All Right Wall of China.'
If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.
If you sit in a bath of pineapple chunks, it can kill you. That's well documented.
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed a...Show more »
It's like there's some unwritten rule that if you're mates, you can say what you want to each other, and you don't really get that annoyed about it. Show less «
I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?
I don't know what the future is, but you just do it whilst it's there, don't you?
I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.
I'm not that lazy, but I don't need that much money. I lead a fairly simple life.
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the hi...Show more »
Yesterday, I did some painting then went out to buy an onion and came home and watched 'University Challenge.' The onion was probably the highlight. Show less «
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing th...Show more »
Me mum used to always have the radio on - even now she has it on in every room. Me girlfriend sort of blames that reason for me not doing that well at school - constant noise, really. Show less «
I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't...Show more »
I say have the night and give people the awards, but why do people want to watch people win awards? What are they getting out of it? I don't quite get it. Because they have awards all the time; there's awards for butchers, the best meat served, but they don't televise it. I don't know why they do it for films or TV programs. Show less «
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!
People eat duck and you think, well, we've got loads of chickens, leave the ducks alone!
Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.
Parrots have gone a bit quiet since pirates have gone.
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
It's not a joke: I really do like being at home.
Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do.
Getting old is better than being young. You can do what you want to do.
It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.
It's not easy keeping a diary. You have to be pretty committed.
I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, an...Show more »
I sometimes wonder how we're short of cod. There's gonna be a load deep down that are hiding. But it's a good reason to put the price up, and it means a load of people will have haddock. They should tell people they're running out of all sorts. Make 'em panic a bit. Show less «
People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that op...Show more »
People always tell me I'm going to regret not having kids. But what if I have one and then I regret having it? Has anyone thought of that option? Show less «
With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads?
With evolution, things are always changing, so I sort of think: Should we all be growing three heads?
I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll...Show more »
I think it's a problem when something's a dream because it'll never live up to your expectations. It's better to go somewhere thinking it'll be horrible, and then be pleasantly surprised. Show less «
I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't w...Show more »
I had a bad experience doing public speaking at school. I had to talk about a pen for five minutes and it was really hard work. I couldn't wait to get off the stage. Show less «
We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's...Show more »
We'll all die out eventually. Humans will be gone. And all I'm saying is, when people worry about polar bears disappearing or whatever, it's like, 'Well that's life, things will come and go, we'll find new species.' Show less «
You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like...Show more »
You know, when you're a producer, you're a bit of a lackey. You're just making cups of tea and making sure they've got newspaper, stuff like that. Show less «
Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?
Who'd have thought the Frisbee would have caught on?
You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go.
You can only live to be so old, then you gotta let go.
I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes...Show more »
I came face-to-face with a gorilla which was quite good, but it was a 10-hour trek in bad weather, up hills, covered in mud, with mosquitoes everywhere and when we got there the gorilla's just sat there doing nowt. Show less «
I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they...Show more »
I really can't believe what a state the Pyramids are in. I thought they had flat rendered sides, but when you get up close, you see how they are just giant boulders balanced on top of each other, like a massive game of Jenga that has got out of hand. Show less «
People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to ...Show more »
People say if bees die out, the world would end, apparently. Now, I don't know if that's true, if that's some bee enthusiast who managed to write a good document, and people believe this. Show less «
I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans an...Show more »
I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. Show less «
I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
I've never thought about it before, but I suppose bad people might need someone to pray to, too.
I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
I'm not a proper traveler. I don't like to be challenged or have too much of a change and prefer a week away just to relax.
If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error.
If you're doing the same job every day, there's room for error.
For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see.
For me, a good holiday is about value for money rather than things to see.
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuf...Show more »
Everyone is living for everyone else now. They're doing stuff so they can tell other people about it. I don't get all that social media stuff, I've always got other things I want to do - odd jobs around the house. No one wants to hear about that. Show less «
I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan.
I don't want to go about offending people; that's not my plan.
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
I don't think I'd be a very good parent. I'd be too honest.
I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm not important, am I? I'm not doing anything that makes a difference.
I don't know what I'm meant to do. I'm not important, am I? I'm not doing anything that makes a difference.
Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard.
Comedy's really subjective, you know; that's why it's so hard.
I've got loads of nieces and nephews.
I've got loads of nieces and nephews.
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
I've learnt that, even though I've travelled about, I haven't changed that much.
I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
I was impressed by the Taj Mahal. A good bit of work, well looked after, worth paying money to see.
I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great.
I drive a car, like an adult. Not brilliantly. I'm not great.
At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't al...Show more »
At the end of the day, teachers aren't going to mess about trying to make me into an Einstein, 'cause it was never gonna happen. We can't all be brainy, can we? That's just the way the world is. Show less «
I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing c...Show more »
I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling. But in reality, you're stuck on a boat that's bobbing up and down, you feel sick, the whale isn't there on demand. Show less «
I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see o...Show more »
I am into nature and seeing whales. I went whale-watching, and I was really looking forward to that, but when you see it on TV and you see other programs do it, you're seeing close-ups of these massive creatures, and the music that's added gives you a certain feeling. Show less «
When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.
When you've been on a programme called 'An Idiot Abroad' job offers aren't exactly flying in.
To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a b...Show more »
To be honest, marriage doesn't scare me and that, it's just once you've been together for so long, if you haven't got any kids it's just a big expensive day out for everyone else to enjoy, isn't it? Show less «
I think it's mental to pay for water. Where is that water coming from? Are they in the hills puttin' it into bottles when years ago it used ...Show more »
I think it's mental to pay for water. Where is that water coming from? Are they in the hills puttin' it into bottles when years ago it used to roll down and go into the lakes? Show less «
I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort...Show more »
I love nature - it's probably my most favorite thing. I don't watch much telly, the telly hardly goes on, but the things I do watch are sort of nature programs, and something about the oceans and the amount of weird fish that's in there. Show less «
I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
I don't know any Londoners 'cos I'm from Manchester.
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
The poorer people and criminals of Mexico who are not very religious but not quite atheists, either, worship Saint Death.
I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
I mean, I don't really go out at night in terms of noisy, busy places; I prefer more of a quiet corner somewhere.
All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's wei...Show more »
All fame is is having people you don't know coming up to you and saying, 'Hello.' I'm always polite and people are always nice, but it's weird. Show less «
Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill -...Show more »
Making the 'An Idiot Abroad' series, I was really dreading going to India; I thought I'd hate it. It was a nightmare, and I was really ill - just like everyone says. Show less «
I've never worried about life's big questions.
I've never worried about life's big questions.
I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything.
I've never won many awards, I didn't get certificates for swimming or anything.
I don't know what 'famous' is, really.
I don't know what 'famous' is, really.
I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed.
I'm not invited to any exciting parties and my life hasn't really changed.
If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.
If you'd have told me five years ago that I'd have done all this - two books, some television and everything - I'd panic, I'd be scared.
If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much t...Show more »
If you go away with, you know, a girlfriend, wife, whatever, you have an argument on holiday because you're not used to spending that much time with people. Show less «
With acting, I didn't get much from it.
With acting, I didn't get much from it.
We should all love animals.
We should all love animals.
To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.
To me, a cat is an easy pet, they don't need any spoiling or looking after.
Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.
Sometimes you can know too much. A lot of brainy people like Stephen Fry are quite depressive.
Karl Pilkington's Photos
Inner Self, Karl
